Diaries of an Army Wife

Well, it's already November.  That time of the year where you start thinking of dusting off the christmas tree, and contemplate what you've got to buy the friends and family.  For most of us based here in Northern Ireland, we've got something else to worry about.  And that's the time. The days that pass, too quickly to our liking.  We dread hearing that the month of March is only 4 months away.  And that's the month so many of our husbands, wives, and friends have got to deploy to Afghan.

I'm especially dreading it.  Well actually.  That's not fair. I'm sure everyone is really worried about the tour.  And started planning on if they're going back to the mainland, or if they're gonna stick it out here.  Me... I'm stuck here as I've got to keep the boat a float.

At the recent christmas battery do, we were sitting next to a sergeant from the Australian army.  He was one of 15 odd men, that are attached to my other halfs battery, and will be accompanying them on the tour.  As I voice my concerns to him about the tour, and have a moan about the time we're going to be apart, he tells me, that he and most of the other lads with him, hasn't been home in over 13 months!  That stunned me.  I didn't know what to say.  To make matters worse, he'll be seeing his wife for three weeks over christmas if she flies over here, and then only when they've got R & R halfway through their tour.  I absolutely take my hat of to these gentlemen more then ever.  It just made me realise, that yet again, we always complain about things, when somewhere, someone else have got to make do with much worse circumstances.

So with that thought I'll leave ya.  Husband is currently away from home on Pre Deployment Training, so will have much more time on my hands to update this. LOL

Okay so I know I've been really bitter in my previous post.  I'm really sorry for making it seem as if my life is crap... lol... it's not.
I'm happy... just seperation I don't deal to good with.

Well, so we're moving again!  And to Northern Ireland.  Don't know if I'm supposed to say that here though, heard all these stories of how it was over there... Husband's been told he's not allowed to wear his uniform on his way to work, but only allowed to change into it once he is there.  When I wash his uniform, not allowed to hang it outside to dry, have to hide it in the house (lol)... So goody... this is gonna be fun!

So as I fill in the numerous application forms for jobs, why I'd like to work for them, and why I want to do admin positions instead of Customer Service (grrr), and wether I'm part of the Protestant or Catholic community (why?).  It's become apparent why so many of the wives rather stay at home then go to work.  Because it's such a mission getting a job.  Explaining periods of unemployment because you were moving again, but explaining them in such a way so they don't realise you are an army wife... goodness... what an effort.  I've been sitting at home not working for 3 weeks now.  And to be perfectly honest... it's driving me freaking nuts! We don't have kids yet to keep me busy... instead I've got a litter of kittens, but that's not the same thing. 

It's so much easier then not applying for 10 jobs and getting 1 interview out of them (or is it just me doing something wrong).  I'm only young, and I'm doing my degree from home aswell... But I really don't want to work at Tesco.  Or McDonalds. 

So this means... money's a bit tight.  And is that my fault? Nope.  I don't think so.  I started realising that so many of the wives just look after kids as it's so much easier because husband's always away.  And have to run the whole house on their own isn't as easy as I thought.  So to all the veteran wives and current wives having a glass of wine while reading this... I take my hat of to you!

I've got to go and pack a little bit more, while filling in application forms with the other hand now people.  Oh my... but my life is just too exciting for a 22 year old!  lol

Much Love and God bless.

Well I know I haven't been on here for a while.  And will certainly do my best to keep things up to date from now on. 
Especially as I have so much free time on my hands... YET AGAIN.
Is it just me that deals this bad with being seperated from the other half... (Thanks MOD... You make my life a breeze -I wish-)

I know this might sound silly.  But as I sit here and wait for the phone to ring... I feel this big lump in my throat.
Might it be the big sweet I snuck (which I'm not allowed because I'm doing the Weight Watchers thing... don't laugh)
or could it just be that I really miss him today.

I texted my cousin in South Africa yesterday... just before my husband left for exercise.  Told her that I really miss her
and I wanted to know how she's doing.  The reason I'm so worried about her, is because 4 years ago she became part of
the crime statistics in South Africa.  Her husband was highjacked and brutally killed.  Leaving her all alone to raise 2 kids.
And the one thing I said to her, was how I've started dreaming at night that people are coming to my house, telling me
something has happened to AJ.  And... I don't know why... I'll start daydreaming... and imagine his funeral... the flag
draped over his coffin, everyone there to morn him, how I'm feeling... In intense detail!  This must be why I'm sitting here
crying while typing this damn blog... I mean... he's only gone on exercise for 3 weeks (after just getting back from a 6 weeks one)
and he's only due out (to an undisclosed destination in the Middle East -- hint hint nudge nudge).  So why am I slowly loosing my mind?

Surely... You must say... Well you knew this before you married him.  But that's no thing to say.  How do you expect me to NOT love him
just because he's a soldier and 80% of our life he'll be away? 

Well... the thing I'm trying to get across is.  I'm terribly depressed... sitting here... what the hell is wrong with me?
Could any1 maybe give me hints and tips to stop thinking all these things I am. 

This is the last blog I'll be writing in the state I am now  (I say while taking another sip of whine)
Sorry bout that guys... and girls...

Much Love and Respect

Dear God,
I pray to you again today
I ask for your Help
Please help me understand
Why this life I doubt

Dear God, another thing
Please give me strength
my life, my love, he's leaving
The Army's sent him out

You already know that though,
and how it's gonna end
Please dear God comfort me,
When away to Afghan he is sent

Could you please stop my jealousy
It's Civillians I envy
All they worry about is their next cocktail party
And where they've lost their key

One last thing my Lord
Keep his memory safe
For when he's so far from me,
He'll remember my face

I close this prayer with thanks
for being married to a soldier
Even though we're almost never together
It's the days with him, I'll deeply treasure.

--Jackie--